Day 13: Where would you like to visit/live one day

Anyone who knows me knows that my heart is in the Magic Kingdom! I love everything Disney and someday I plan to go there. I want to experience everything there before I have kids and then someday take my children there as well. I have visited Disney World in California but that isn’t the Magic Kingdom to satisfy my desires! I want to see Epcot, Animal Kingdom, and Cinderella’s Castel! So if I could go anywhere in the world, it would be Disneyland where dreams come true!

Where I want to live is an interesting question. I don’t have an end place like some people, frankly, I don’t have somewhere I want to end up.. I just want to have a house that is all mine and I can make it the home I’ve always dreamed of.

***Don’t forget to check out Bubbly Bubbie Blog tomorrow for Day 14: What is your earliest memory?***

When you know I should be a teacher

I had a conversation with a friend the other day about school. We were talking about an upcoming project and I got really excited to do it just because it let me use my future educator skills. We laughed for a minute and then began talking about all of the qualities we possessed that prove we should be teachers someday.

  1. We love to whip up a PowerPoint or worksheet. This may seem silly but anytime that a project needs a worksheet I am all about it, and that goes for PowerPoint presentations as well. I suppose this is the artistic side of me, but I really enjoy preparing these things.
  2. Making up activities is a breeze. No matter what I’m doing  I’m always trying to make up something to do, weather it’s for a class or the child I’m babysitting. So when it comes to making classroom activities my imagination runs wild.
  3. Organizing is a piece of cake. There’s no denying that I love to organize things. Label makers, plastic drawer organizers, even folders and notebooks make me happy. Don’t even get me started on planners, they make my life complete. As soon as I step foot into an office supply store, I instantly start thinking of my future classroom.        3.5. School Supplies. I don’t give this its own number but I probably should. School supplies make me so happy. Buying a new pack of pens, or some post-its just makes the inner teacher in me feel complete.
  4. DRESS CLOTHES! I don’t even need to dress up yet and I love to walk down the isles of dress pants and nice shirts. Just something about them makes me excited to get dressed up everyday. Sometimes I even get lost in pintrest looking at “teacher outfits”.
  5. Future Planning. No I’m not writing up lesson plans in my free time, but every time I come across something I find useful or I could use to teach later I make a note of it, or save it. Writing notes in my books as I read of things I would teach.
  6. All the work I’m putting into my degree. This can sound cliche, but I’m doing everything I can to become a teacher. Being an education major isn’t an easy job, I’ve never met someone in the education field that says school was a simple. There’s not only degree work, but state testing to go through as well, and hours and hours of reading, writing, creating, studying, observing, teaching small lessons, student teaching, and more. Anyone who can manage that, plus have a social life, maybe a romantic relationship, and work to pay their way through school and where they live, all while still aspiring to change the world as an educator is someone special. And I’m glad I’ve become friends with these amazing people.

No one told me this would be easy. I’ve been told “I won’t make much money”, “I’ll constantly have to be working on something”, “sometimes you get classes from hell”, “sometimes you get the best class in the world”, “there will be moments when you may have to make huge choices that will change a students life”,” your going to get mad”, “your going to have your feeling hurt”, “Your so small students won’t respect you”, “Your crazy why would you want to teach teenage brats”……. No no one has ever told me teaching is an easy job, but every single teacher I’ve ever met has told me it will be worth it, and that’s all I need to know.

So where was I?

Feeling so overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings that you can’t write…

That’s what was keeping me from writing the last two weeks. But yesterday when I told someone I was blogging again, they made me realize something. That’s when I should have been writing, not shying away from it. My blog is my place to express myself creatively, emotionally, however I need to. And to hear that this person was kind of disappointed that I stopped just because I was unsure of my posts made my heart hurt. They told me they saw me being so proud of what I was doing and the little bit of success and views I was reciving. It made me realize that I really do love this and I want to keep doing it.. So I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.. 

It was also nice to take some time away and spend spring break with my family, friends, and boyfriend and not worry about getting a blog post up.. To be honest I didn’t even get to work on my school projects I planned to. But I’m back from break, feeling determined to kick the second half of the semester in the face! So Look forward to my thoughts, ideas, crafts, outfits, and anything else I think of 🙂 spring is coming and lots of new posts!

What my children will never experience

*Disclaimer: I love my parents, and this is no way against them. I am extremely grateful for the life I’ve been given because without all of my challenges I would not have become the strong, independent, young woman I am.

When you have divorced parents, parents that were never married, or just parents with a strained relationship dating can be a hard thing. You have little to no solid example of a successful relationship. I am one of these people. Often we enter relationships with the mindset that it probably won’t last and if it has the potential to last, we’ll go through with it feeling uncertain waiting for that straw to break the camels back, but that’s never stopped me from putting my self out there, searching for love, and trying to get a grasp on what it really feels like. If you happen to find that special someone who is a child of divorce, separation,or any type of break up, here are some things you gotta know. Most days I wish my boyfriend understood what some of these things feel like, but if he’ll never understand the feeling personally, at least I can try to explain.

    1. Honesty is the most important thing…even if it’s something we don’t want to hear. Never be passive-aggressive about anything and just keep it to yourself. We understand that bottling it all up can end up in disaster, rage, and spontaneous choices, so we’d rather you keep the peace by laying it all out on the table in a calm conversation. We’d gladly love to hear what you have to say, especially to avoid unnecessary tension and arguments.
    2. Next is commitment. Actions speak louder than words , which is why it’s important to be sure that you’re committed when entering a relationship with us. Fluffy nicknames and promises will be empty in our eyes, We want to feel the love daily, to make sure that it’s still there.
    3. Just Talk to us. The more you communicate, the easier it is for us to get to know who you really are, and once you feel comfortable let us into your heart, When you can open up is when we will also start to. We’d like you to be straightforward because it makes the relationship comfortable and balanced.
    4. We’ll be very loving. You’ll find that people like me will always want you to feel loved by keeping the spark in the relationship bright. We’ll freely give all our love and affection as a constant reminder of how much we love and care for you. And if you don’t reciprocate it or show appreciation we may begin to feel distant and unloved. So just show you love to us as much as you can.
    5. We’ll take care of you. We’ve taken good care of our parents during their times of pain, as well as our younger siblings. Those days where mom was at work and dad wasn’t around we may have had to step up into the role of parent. so we’ll do the same for you. We’ll be the first to buy ibuprofen when you feel a head ache coming on or send you funny memes via text whenever you’re going through a bad day. Maybe even cook you some food.
    6. We over-think things. Even if things are going right, we can’t help but be in doubt and in our head about every single thing. We’ll almost always think a little too deeply into things like harmless teasing or neutral statements or even one letter texts, don’t even get me started about those obviously generic tweets.We instantly think the worst and in turn can hurt not only ourselves but also you.
    7. We put effort into dating. We want you to feel appreciated, loved, and like your the luckiest person in the world so we’ll put a lot of thought into our dates and gifts for you, never minding going an extra mile to be romantic. We don’t want you to feel neglected because we understand that feeling all too well.
    8. We like confrontation. Seriously. Confrontation helps us to tackle any problems in a relationship and find a solution. Honestly our relationships feed off of arguments. We will get mad at the stupidest thing and end up causing a huge fight (see over thinking again haha) but It reassures us that the relationship will last, get through it, and helps us improve ourselves.
    9. We never want to put a child through this. I feel that this is the most important thing you need to know. MY child will never know what if feels like to go between homes, they will never know what its like to hear both sides of their parents story, they will never have to pick sides and then be made to feel guilty when the other parent isn’t happy, and they will NEVER ONLY HAVE ONE PARENT IN THEIR LIFE! If we’re going to marry and have children one day I don’t want them to feel any of these things. I deserved so much better than this, and my child is no different. So unless your in it for the long run take a hike.

I never want my child to know what any of these things, I just want them to be happy children without a care in the world about their parents relationship! That’s my biggest dream, to have children with the man I love and live happily ever after….. finally.

 

 

 

 

Scrubs

Scrubs is a medical comedy tv series that aired from October 2, 2001, to March 17, 2010. The series follows the lives of employees (such as JD, Turk, Carla, Elliot, and many more) at Sacred Heart hospital and their journey from medical intern all the way up to teaching med school. Seeing as I was a young child when it first aired I did not watch it originally, but this past summer I saw it on Netflix and began to watch it after I finished Friends because I needed a new series to watch. I did not go through this one as fast as I have other series’s, but now that I am done with it I am actually really disappointed.

I finished the series last night and I am left feeling very conflicted on my opinion of the series. When the ninth season starts the setting and characters shift a bit. Instead of JD and Turk (the main characters) working side by side in the hospital, the hospital is torn down and rebuild on a Med-school campus, and they become “professors”. As soon as this season started I didn’t really like it as much the previous ones, but I gave it a chance because I had already put months of my life into this show.

Now that I have finished it, I am actually really upset about how it ended. The show honestly never really had an ending it just kind of stopped and left a lot of story lines unfinished. I really hate when shows do this, but it usually happens when a show suddenly gets taken off air unexpectedly which may have happened (I don’t know that was 6 years ago) If it did run its full course, the ending was very disappointing and i would had rather it ended after season 8 when JD left the hospital for a new job.

I guess I just have to live with the ending I got and start looking for my next Netflix series to binge watch.

First Day of School 2016

This semester already feels way different and it’s only the end of day one! I woke up in a good mood, I’m excited about the three classes I’ve had so far, it feels great to be back in my own house, and my friends an I even managed to get to the gym today before our weekly television shows came on. A week or two ago I said that I was in a rut and I wanted to make changes, so here I am 2016! I’m excited to see what these different type of classes I’m taking will offer me, and I hope day one of my other classes are just as great tomorrow morning.

is it your job?

Relationships are very key in life. Without other people, we would all go mad. Simply we as humans need to build relationships to survive life. Whether the relationship is a deep connection or not, you develop some connection with every person that you meet. Other people affect your life in huge ways, and through the relationships you build with family, friends, and romantic partners, you discover who to go to when you’re in need of support.

Family is always the first relationship you develop because they’re there from the moment you’re born and they are the most important relationship you establish. You spend most of your life around them; therefore they usually know your life aspirations and dreams you wish to accomplish. No matter how whimsical or crazy those dreams may be, your family will always love and support you through anything. Family is one of the few relationships in life that you don’t actually get to choose. You’re born into the family you’ll have for life, so no matter what you’ll always have someone. One of the most valuable things you learn from your family is how to build trusting friendships.

Friendships have different meaning depending on your age at the time, but they are always there for the same reason. Your friends are there when you feel you can’t go to your family. You don’t usually share all your dreams with them, but more personal problems that you don’t wish to share with your family. Friends usually offer advice from their own experiences. They aren’t always correct, but generally they give you advice that helps you out in some way. But most importantly through those friendships, you eventually may find some one who gives you butterflies when you look at him or her, and most of the time, they become a crush or in more serious cases, a romantic partner.

Your romantic partner is there for a completely different reason that the others. It can take you years to find the right one for you. Once you do though, they are there for a big reason. They are there to let you know, no matter what they’ll love you. You can tell them anything in the world and they will be honest with you whether it’s positive or not. They’re really there for emotional support in situations in which your family can’t know what you’re going through and your friends can’t help. This one very special person will always tell you what they think and love you, no matter what choices you make in life.

All of these people are there for you and support you in different ways. Your family is always there to boost you up when you’re feeling down, and they always support your dreams. Friends are there to offer their advice to help you out in a situation, and your romantic partner is there to keep you calm and reassure you that no matter what you’ll be fine and they’ll love you through anything, and that’s all you truly need.

I learned to love from Counrty Music

Being the romantic I am, I always wish for fairy tales. To me love is this perfect thing where both people could never want anything more than to be with the other. The boy randomly shows up when the girl needs him the most, flowers ( or food ) in hand coming to the rescue when her world is crashing down. He looks at her with so much love even if she isn’t looking back.

I have come to the conclusion that I feel this way about love because of country music. I have been exposed to country music my entire life and it is a big driving point of how I want to be loved. I think that every girl deserves to be love like a country love song. The love is so pure and deep and idealistic. I just want that someday.

I figured this out because have you ever listened to a song and instantly thought of someone. No matter what the song is, break up, love, party, every country song makes me think of the boy I love. I’m in love with country music, with how it makes me feel, and what it gives me hope for someday. It taught me what I deserve over the years, and if what I have now isn’t it (but I’m sure it is) then I know I’ll have killer break up songs to get me through it haha.

When I accepted my fate

Recently I was told that it is practically impossible for me to graduate college in the four years I was supposed to originally. As a young woman who absolutely can not wait to start teaching this was heart breaking news to get from my educational director. I don’t want to push my future off any longer. If I could go into teaching now I feel like I have the confidence to do so, maybe not the knowledge but I could certainly hold my own in front of 30 teenagers. But there really isn’t much I can do to help my situation. I will inevitably be staying at school an extra year. So I’ve embraced a new way to think about it. I didn’t fail at what I wanted to do, I’m just making sure I can do it to the best of my ability. Learning to teach children shouldn’t be something to learn quickly, it should be something you learn how to do well and in the best manner to benefit the children that will eventually be in your class. And I want to do everything I can to be the best teacher I can be, because teachers change lives, and that’s all I want.

A letter to the boy I love..

I am going to start off by saying I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for my past. For giving my heart away one too many times as you were there waiting the whole time. For having a twisted perception of how men should treat woman. For not having trust in you some days. For sometimes feeling like I’m not appreciated. I’m sorry for what I presently am. For constantly searching for more instead of being patient for our time to come. For not listening and constantly overthinking myself into anxiety. I’m sorry for my future mistakes (that I will make). For not submitting to uncontrollable situations. For letting my emotions drive me at times(or all the time). For believing lies and not listening to truth. For not following through on things I may promise to you.
But more than that I’m sorry for you. For the expectations you know I already have, you know, the ones you feel like you have to meet but know you won’t always be able to. For feeling like I’ll always love you more than you can show me your love. For your past hurt, whatever that may look like, and every time I’ve hurt you up until now.
So I’m sorry, but there’s more. I’m scared.
I’m scared for the bad times that I know we’ll have because we already have. For not living up to your expectations.For being all you ever know as love. For being a bad wife or mom when it’s that time. For fighting. For possible financial stresses, even though I know that ultimately does not matter right now. I’m sorry and scared, but what do I feel the most? I’m excited.
I’m excited to meet you in our future. I’m excited for you to experience my awkwardness everyday of our life. I’m excited for the mountains we have to climb together. For the jokes and laughs that we’ll continue to make. For the happy tears. For our future children, if God blesses up with some. For cooking dinners for two instead of one, and then three, and then four. For dancing and singing in the kitchen to songs we both love. For the deep conversations late at night. I’m excited for the valleys we’ll trudge through together. For the trials that will shape our relationship further. For the times that we can only get through because of our love for each other. For the times where all we can do is turn to one another. I’m sorry and scared and excited. Maybe our future will never happen the way I wish. Maybe, just maybe, it’ll happen exactly as I imagine. If not, if my future involves you, it will be nothing but perfect!
Love Always,
Your (possible) future wife